The scrum as I saw it

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Wobbles 7 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • 27th January 2018 at 11:35 am #834

    Ian
    Keymaster

    The scrum is a pack of eight men, or boys. The front line is made up of large men who headbutt the other guys, and the locks put their heads between the butts of the headbutters. That’s the tall boys in the second line. The tall kid at the back puts his head between the butts of the locks. On the side of the scrum are the flanks, who can avoid most of the head between butts stuff, and who hold up the entire pack. A ball is thrown into the middle of the two packs, who headbutt each other and try to push each other over. Except the flanks, who only pretend to push, and just want to get away as soon as possible.

    The back line is a pack of boys.

  • 27th January 2018 at 2:30 pm #835

    OldBill
    Keymaster

    The back line is a pack of scared boys who worry about getting their heads forced into their own butts…

  • 27th January 2018 at 2:55 pm #836

    Jonathan Golding
    Participant

    Hmmm! Numbers 1 and 3 are the fat boys who can not possibly play anywhere else or any other sport. Concepts of a side-step and a dummy are foreign words. Number 2 is a frustrated centre who is simply too slow to crack a nod where the real rugby is played. Numbers 4 and 5 get on the field because they are nice and tall, no other skills really required. 6,7 and 8 are actually proper rugby players and assist 9 to 15 in playing some rugby. Having said that the real players cannot do too much without the ball!

  • 27th January 2018 at 4:57 pm #837

    Ian
    Keymaster

    I didn’t want to say fat boys because prejudice and they can still fall on top of you. As I recall it was players 9 to 15 who assisted the loose forwards, when they had spare time. But mostly they were busy being ornamental.

  • 27th January 2018 at 6:08 pm #838

    OldBill
    Keymaster

    A scrumhalf and a flanker discussing the forwards, and I mean the real forwards, 1 through 5, not the pretty boys who dance around the fringes of the rough stuff? And they both live in Simonstown too..

  • 28th January 2018 at 7:48 am #841

    Ian
    Keymaster

    Simonstralia

  • 31st January 2018 at 2:15 pm #893

    Sweeneym
    Participant

    I guess its time someone spoke on behalf of numbers 10 to 15 who seem to have had very little positive coverage so far. Having played in more than one of these positions my memory of the scrum is there were about 10 players in a heap of wriggling and groaning arms and legs from which the ball would eventually emerge courtesy of one of those real rugby players (6,7,8)…..and then the game actually would begin. Usually some sprinting (running like hell to get away from the opposition’s real players) and some kicking by numbers 10 to 15 would follow before once again the need for a large pile of wriggling arms and legs would arise in order to keep the next phase alive.

  • 28th March 2018 at 10:01 am #1572

    Wobbles
    Participant

    The props are not “fat”, they have some relaxed muscle and spare skin for storing liquids after the game.
    Invariably the prop has the best sense of humor and most are experts in their hobbies of urine extraction!!
    As for positional play, from personal experience, they are vital for all the scrums and lineouts, and in my case covering the full-back!!
    Being experts at geometry and statistics they figured out that if you stay in one part of the field the ball and silly winger things will eventually come back to you!! 🙂

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